Seeking happiness: How do I fight anxiety…
Anxiety and insecurity has become an integral part of lives, there is this constant pressure to be in some sort of an invisible race. A fear of being left out, FOMO as millennials call it constantly haunts you. Finding happiness and staying sane is becoming a challenge. How do you find solace in this chaos? Here’s a list of 3 things I have been consciously practicing to de-clutter my mind and stay happy
- Compete with yourself
We always have craved for recognition from people around us. As children we craved for attention from our parents, in school we wanted to be the teacher’s pet, at college, may be coolest kid on the block and as a corporate, may be the most sought after for opinions. The race never seems to end and thus gives rise to competition with folks around you and leads to lot of stress when you find people who have achieved a lot in relatively less time.
The challenge is that we are looking at an outcome rather than the path that led to it and comparing yourself with others isn’t really apple to apples, since we all come from different families, had different upbringing and fundamentally are different individuals and hence it is a futile exercise to compare. On the contrary if you keep comparing yourself, most of the parameters stay same apart from the zeal to do better today and hence there is just one thing to stretch for …an undying zeal!
2. Celebrate Criticism
A 15th century Indian poet Kabir wrote “निंदक नियरे राखिए, ऑंगन कुटी छवाय, बिन पानी, साबुन बिना, निर्मल करे सुभाय।” it literally translates to say that one should keep critics really close for they help you overcome your weaknesses. The poet, draws an analogy to the act of bathing where we use soap and water to scrub the dirt off our bodies. These lines were written ages back and yet are very relevant even today. This is extremely hard and requires tireless practice, I struggle a lot on this one. What helps me though, is to disconnect the message from the person, every time I have managed to do that, I have found a better me!
Learning to celebrate criticism has been empowering for me big time. To be able to accept my flaws and free myself from the state of denial puts me at absolute peace. To have long lasting peace, I have to watch myself every day, every moment and this has been quite a ride!
3. Sharing vulnerability is not weakness
Heard this from a trainer in a workshop, had little faith in those lines until I applied it both professionally and personally. Surfacing fears to your near ones or your team often takes lot of courage and isn’t easy, however the trust that grows out of the act is immeasurable. Being candid about a situation and how I felt about it has been key to surface the authenticity I carry and saying the truth no matter how hard it was, got easier with every passing day. Every time I have mustered the courage to share, help has poured in and relationship in context has only got stronger, interestingly I made some good friends in my late 30’s, something I never thought was possible.
All the three methods were known to me for long and sounded very preachy until I chose to apply them, if you struggle with insecurities try one of them!
